Saturday, June 7, 2014

Push Forward



“Don’t let your past pull you back.  If anything, let it propel you forward.”
-          Erika

About a month ago, I was on my way to work and I had an epiphany! It’s funny because it started off being a standard weekday for me.   You know, it was the usual morning routine…get up…brush teeth… shower…. put on clothes…head out the door, etc.  As I was driving in 8 o’clock traffic, I looked in the rear-view mirror, but I noticed that I could not see the traffic behind me because of the dew on the window.  Right then, the following phrase popped into my head, “Don’t let your past pull you back.  If anything, let it propel you forward.” In that moment, I realized that at times we can get so caught up on our past.  We can actually become so fixated on our past that we become stuck there.   We get so hung up on past failures, past hurt, past relationships that it hinders us from progressing towards our future.
                I’m not saying to completely ignore the past.  It is my belief that experiences from our past can provide valuable knowledge and can be exceptional learning experiences.  However, the problem comes when we’re too busy looking in our rearview mirror and not focusing on what lies ahead.  Don’t allow the past to keep you in bondage. Don’t let past hurts control you.  Instead, let your past experiences be building blocks for you. Let it motivate you to strive for more!  Learn from the past, but don’t live there. 
                You may be wondering how to be free from negative thoughts and feelings associated with your past.  This requires time, prayer, and effort.  Sometimes the process of letting go can be quite lengthy.  Yet, here are a few strategies that can assist you in this process:

1.       Acknowledge the positive aspects about the situation.  Although we may experience negative and traumatic events in our lives, it is vital that we identify the good parts of our lives.  Changing our perspective about the situation is half the battle.  For example, suppose you’re hurting due to a past unhealthy relationship.  Instead of ruminating on the negative parts of it, try being optimistic.  You can shift your focus to some of the positives such as: “I was hurt during the relationship, but I’m thankful for being free from that person now,” or “That relationship was not pleasant for me, but I sure did learn a lot from that situation!” 

2.       Engage in thought stopping techniquesThoughts can sneak up on us at times and can be quite intrusive.  If we are unprepared, these painful memories can be exacerbated when they arrive unexpectedly.  However, you can defend yourself from negative thinking.  When you find yourself being ambushed by unpleasant memories, change your focus immediately.  Instead, think about something uplifting and encouraging.  Occupy your mind with tasks that need to be completed, sing an inspirational song, read the Bible, or think about a happy moment in your life.  Remember, YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR THOUGHTS! Activate your authority!!


3.       Focus on the present and the future.  We cannot control the past.  Worrying and/or fixating on the past will not change what has already happened.  So if focusing on the past is not enriching or helping you in anyway, why bother concentrating on it?? Don’t get me wrong.  As a counselor, I definitely recommend addressing and processing issues from your past that may be impacting your life.  However, when you notice that your past is creeping up on you and causing you to be discouraged, then I recommend that you focus on your present-day life and future goals.  Remember that you are not your past.  Remember that your past does not have to control you.  Re-direct your attention and focus on the things in your life that you can influence such as your current and future endeavors. 

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